Friendships and social acceptance – it’s hard!

Social interactions and acceptance are such massive topics in our house.
Broke my heart to have zoe come and sit in the car and burst into tears on Friday because all the year eight girls were heading to a farewell party for one of the girls and she was the only one not invited! As an adult that hurts, but as a 12 year old, that is crushing. Seeing her say comments like, but to my face they are my friends and sign to me, but why are they all going off and not inviting me?! I tried to come up with possible reasons for this happening, all I could come with was the maybe there was a mis communication, maybe there was a group announcement and she or the interpreter missed it. But as Zoe said, then why didn’t any of the other girls talk about it at break times.
Social media doesn’t help this type of situation either, as within a couple of hours the girls had posted photos of themselves at the party. It was like salt to the wound:(

It is so hard when you want to just fit in but at the same time be yourself.
I worry about high school next year, as i can see this type of thing increasing. I don’t know how to counteract it.

Seeing zoe at the Deaf youth hui with her friends, it was like looking at the REAL Zoe, she was confident, engaged, happy and not once was she left guessing or trying to work out what was going on.

How do I replicate that in her education??? The answer is simple to say but not to do. Zoe needs to be in an environment where she has a strong Deaf peer group. Her hearing friends are so important her also but nothing can beat that sense of belonging and sameness.
Unfortunately I can’t create that for her in Wellington:(
The WFDYS camp in Gallaudet will give her a week of it but I worry about when we return to NZ.

It is so hard to explain to people how isolated she feels at times.

I am so thankful that as a family unit we are close and can talk about these issues together, I would hate the thought of Zoe having these feelings and not being able to come and talk to me about it.


About fergfam5

We are a bilingual bicultural family living in NZ Deaf Dad, hearing Mum, And 3 kids:) (2 Deaf and 1 hearing)
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